fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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