Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
