Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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