Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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