I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
