i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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