Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
