that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
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The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
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Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize