I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
