She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you had me at cake vodka
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
