Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Who died my cat blue again?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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