had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What a dumb baby whore.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Can you bring me the toilet please
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
