About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
