i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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