fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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