is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
