I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
