Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
