if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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