On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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