I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
