I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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