Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
