even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just want to make out with him forever
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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