a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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