I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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