Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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