So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
