My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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