Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
