I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize