on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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