So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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