Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
