Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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