Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Randomize
