I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
