Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
