So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
