It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize