have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
