i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
