you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize