I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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