You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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