is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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