Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
