Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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