Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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