nut hugger
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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