i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
