Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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