I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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