I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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