dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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