i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
