Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
