I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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