If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
